The Anatomy of an Apology

Last time I checked there has only ever been exactly one single solitary individual to walk the face of this earth without sinning. I promise it isn't me and I'm fairly certain it's not you either. We drop the ball, we miss the mark, we make mistakes. Face it, we sin. It's part of living in a fallen world. But that isn't an excuse and doesn't absolve us of the responsibility of our actions and/or inactions. We should own up, fess up when we mess up, and apologize. It's interesting how most people mentally agree that everyone fails but the same people who claim to 'not be perfect' act as though they are. They make excuses, rationalize why the behavior of others or the situation justifies them and flat refuse to admit their guilt. It's' crazy.

"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." - Romans 12:17-21

I think as Christians we ought to be the first to step up, humble ourselves, accept responsibility and ask for forgiveness. When we have come up short so to speak, unintentionally or otherwise, this is how we should respond -

1. Recognize that you have wronged, offended and/or hurt someone else. That's all that matters at this point. This is where being sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit is vital. Guilt is good because it leads us back to God, shame is bad because it causes us to withdraw and hide.
2. Repent before God. The sooner the better! Many view repentance only in terms of our initial salvation experience. I believe it should be a hallmark of our lives as believers. God says IF we will confess our sins He WILL forgive them.
3. Pray for peace. In impossible situations God can do amazing things. He can soften the hardest heart and open the door for difficult discussions.
4. Ask for forgiveness. It may be semantics but I rarely if ever say 'I'm sorry'. If you look at the true meaning of the word you are literally saying 'I am a worthless' and regardless of how bad I've screwed up I'm not worthless. My recommendation is that you say, "I apologize for ???, will you forgive me?" One is a statement and the other a question. It requires a response and empowers the other person in the situation. If you don't think it matters just see which one is harder to say.
5. Make amends if possible. If our heart is truly grieved for hurting someone else it is appropriate and right for us to fix what we can. As for what we can't... thank God for grace! For instance - 'I accidentally ran over your mailbox repeatedly. Will you forgive me? Can I replace it for you?'

I think it's safe to say that forgiveness is a BIG DEAL with God so it should be a big deal to us as well. If God cares about something we should too.

 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." - Matthew 5:23-24