Alternate Reality

This past weekend we had an incredible worship event at our Clayton Campus called Ignite. We spent about an hour just soaking in God’s presence and I believe that worship is a rich environment in which to hear the voice of the Lord. That evening I sensed that people had allowed their situations to redefine their reality instead of trusting God at His word. We’ll get back to that in a moment but for now I want to share a passage of Scripture with you.

“As Jesus went on from there, two blind men followed him, calling out, “Have mercy on us, Son of David!” When he had gone indoors, the blind men came to him, and he asked them, “Do you believe that I am able to do this?” “Yes, Lord,” they replied. Then he touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith let it be done to you”; and their sight was restored.” - Matthew 9:27-30a (NIV)

Many of us have walked through an extended season of challenges. Maybe it’s an illness, or a grown child who has lost their way or perhaps you were looking forward to retirement until the economy took a nosedive. Anyway as the days turned to weeks and the weeks to years we have accepted our current circumstances as our new fate. Remember that Psalm 23 says God takes us ‘through’ not ‘to’ the valley of the shadow of death. Don’t get me wrong, God rewards faithfulness. It’s not like we’ve given up and quit on God, but we’ve lost sight of the calm waters and green pastures that are waiting for us on the other side. We’ve pushed God’s blessing off into eternity because it’s safer that way. We wouldn’t want to get our hopes up after all!

Let me make one thing clear - Jesus healed these two guys THIS SIDE of heaven! And He did it according to their faith not His. So what do you believe God is able to do? Seriously. Can He heal you? Can He reach your lost loved one? Can He provide for you abundantly in spite of the economy? A good friend of mine once told me that, “Faith isn’t denying the facts. It is demanding that they submit themselves to God’s truth.” Don’t settle for any less than God’s absolute best for you. Don’t let the world, the devil or any situation determine your reality. It’s time to get your hopes up again!

Parenting 101

First let me state for the record that I am not an expert when it comes to parenting. I have made my fair share of mistakes and am so thankful for God's (and my kids') grace. I do however have some personal experience and as a former youth pastor years of observing what works and what doesn't.

# 1 - Quit raising kids and start raising adults. I’m not suggesting that we rob them of their childhood and expect 6 year olds to act like 60 year olds. We do, however, keep our eyes on the goal which is to prepare them to be successful members of society. If they can’t make good and Godly decisions on their own by the time they are 17-18 we have failed them. That doesn’t mean that they don’t appreciate our wisdom and experience it just means we have trained them well and instilled in them the confidence that they need to succeed. That means we need to let them make mistakes (within reason) and accept responsibility for the outcomes. If you will be their parent when they are children then you get to be their friend when they are adults. If you choose to be their friend when they are children then you have to be their parent when they are adults.

# 2 - Invest in their walk with God. Get them involved in church - not just attending but participating and serving. Studies indicate that 80% of church going kids walk away from God when they move out of the house. But for kids who had a meaningful role in the church 80% of them remained. Get them serving somehow, somewhere and the sooner the better. Teens need to find own relationship with God and not just their parents. Send them to conferences, on mission trips, etc. and PLEASE don’t punish them by grounding them from church.

# 3 - Help them to discover their calling in Christ. God has a plan and a purpose for every person, not just those in professional ministry. We need Christian doctors and teachers and mechanics and business owners just as we need pastors, missionaries, etc. They need to know that success in life is fulfilling what God created them to be and to do.

# 4 - Teach them that the world doesn’t revolve around them. Because it doesn’t. If they have to discover that after 18 years of being told otherwise it’s going to hurt. I’ve seen too many kids blindsided by college professors and first bosses with the harsh reality of life. Get them volunteering in their church and community on a regular basis.

# 5 - Train them to fight their own battles. Obviously they need to know that we are there for them and we need to intervene at age appropriate moments. You won’t always be there for them and if they can’t stand up for what is right on their own they are in trouble. If we step in or let them quit at the first sign of trouble how are they ever going to make a marriage work?

# 6 - Be the person you want them to become. ‘Do as I say not as I do’ just doesn’t work. Model the attitudes and actions you want them to have. Let me say it another way. Deal with your own issues so they don’t have to. Blond hair, blue eyes and high cholesterol aren’t the only things we pass along.

# 7 - Finally, pray, pray and pray some more. I believe that God can and does make all the difference in the world.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” - Proverbs 22:6 NASB

What Am I Missing?

I was reading through Mark’s account of the life of Christ when I came across the following passage -

“Immediately Jesus made his disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. After leaving them, he went up on a mountainside to pray. Later that night, the boat was in the middle of the lake, and he was alone on land. He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them. Shortly before dawn he went out to them, walking on the lake. He was about to pass by them, but when they saw him walking on the lake, they thought he was a ghost. They cried out, because they all saw him and were terrified. Immediately he spoke to them and said, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” Then he climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down. They were completely amazed, for they had not understood about the loaves; their hearts were hardened.” - Mark 6:45-52 NIV

The last statement hit me like a ton of bricks.

Please bear with me for just a moment. We ONLY see what we see and that is ALL that we see. The problem is that we inaccurately assume that all that we see is all that there is to see. Have you ever been driving along and go to change lanes only to have a car suddenly appear right beside you? It’s almost like it materialized completely out of thin air. The car has been there all along, we just couldn’t, wouldn’t or didn’t see it. It’s called a blind spot. We all have them. Many of us just refuse to acknowledge that fact.

If guys who walked and talked and worked and lived and laughed and cried with Jesus could miss it is it at all possible that I/we might be missing something too? So I began to ask myself, “Self, where is your heart hardened? What is it that you are unaware of in your life? What is God showing you that you just aren’t seeing?” I’m convinced that I still have MUCH to learn from the Holy Spirit.

A good first step is to admit that we don’t know it all. Then we have to ask God to show us what we are missing. Lastly we must keep our hearts tender so as to hear. See God often speaks through people, some of whom we have decided don’t have anything of value to say. Or we have simply become so familiar to their voice that we fail to hear God speaking through them.

Ignorance isn’t bliss. What we don’t know can indeed hurt us. Let’s not live life with hearts hardened and blinders on.

What a Jerk!

So the other day I’m driving through the Nantahala Gorge on my way to my parent’s house. For those of you who don’t have the privilege of calling Western North Carolina home let me paint a picture for you. The two lane road winds through the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains along the banks of the Nantahala River. In the summer months both the road and the river are full of tourists and locals alike eager to experience the adventure the white water has to offer. It’s not uncommon to see skillful anglers waiting for a wary rainbow trout to hit their expertly presented fly. One of the best ways to take in the sights and the sounds is in an open air passenger car aboard the Great Smoky Mountains Railway. Needless to say it is a beautiful drive, but not the best route if you need to get somewhere in a hurry.

So as I’m navigating the twists and turns I notice a vehicle quickly approaching in my rear view mirror. There are several places to pull off to let others pass and I’m inclined to use them (and so should everyone else). I will state for the record that I was driving the speed limit plus 5. After all this is ‘Merica! Apparently this guy fancies himself a budding NASCAR driver because he was drafting me like Talladega Nights. Before I came to a place to let him pass he crossed the double yellow line and blasted by. What a knucklehead.

Of course since I’m a pastor my immediate response was to pray for him, speak blessings over his family and extend unconditional forgiveness… or not. I felt my blood pressure rising. Where did he need to go in such a hurry?! Who was he to put me and everyone else on the road in danger?! Why did he think that he was above the law?! NC’s finest often patrol this stretch of road. I could picture him pulled over, blue lights flashing, the bead of sweat forming on his brow as he calculated the cost as ‘the man’ handed him his well-deserved ticket. I should probably call *HP and get this menace to society off of the streets. After all it’s my civic duty. I owe it to every other law abiding citizen out there.

Except that I was speeding too. And it’s not my job to enforce the law. And I’m sure the guy in the other car hasn’t given it another thought. I’m the one wound up. I’m the one frustrated. What a jerk. Not him - ME! I let someone else into my head, into my heart and gave him the power to determine my state of being. So I had this thought… what if I didn’t care anymore? I’m not talking about people or important things but stuff that I have absolutely no control over. In reality this guy didn’t do anything to me. I wasn’t delayed, I didn’t wreck, we didn’t exchange communiqué via sign language.

What if I focused ONLY on the things that God has given me responsibility for and COMPLETELY trusted Him with EVERYTHING else? My guess is I’d definitely enjoy life’s scenic drives a lot more. I suppose you would too.

Why I quit going to church.

God’s presence has been incredible lately at LifeWay. I’m not talking about better than usual, but like at a whole new level. Worship is amazing, lives are being changed and people are getting saved every week. I love it! I’m not saying that to brag on us but rather to brag on Him and to ask a question…

What changed?

I think we changed. Scripture clearly states that God didn’t.

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” - Hebrews 13:8 NIV

We started this year by calling our church to a 21 day fast and many people responded in faith. I believe that with our physical hunger came a deeper spiritual hunger for God. We came to church expectant and I believe placed a greater demand on the Holy Spirit.

“Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own town, among his relatives and in his own home.” He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. He was amazed at their lack of faith.” - Mark 6:4-6 NIV

It absolutely amazes me that the Bible states that the very Son of God could not (COULD NOT!) do many miracles because of their lack of faith. I think a lot of people show up at church on Sunday because that’s what they do every Sunday (which is not a bad thing). The rub is that our focus is on what we do rather than who we are. Heart always trumps habit. We can either wake up and go through our routine OR we can stop, recognize that we are getting ready to gather together with the Body of Christ (the hope of glory) in the very presence of the Creator of heaven and earth. Anything and everything is possible! How we approach Him makes all the difference in how He approaches us.

Dollars & Sense

Most people have more month than they do money. Every year they fall just a little further behind, working harder and longer and still not making any headway. Without a plan for life’s emergencies they make it from paycheck to paycheck with a little help from their plastic ‘friend’. They delude themselves into thinking that things are going to change (without making a change) and their plans for the future involve little more than wishful thinking. If it’s not working for most people then maybe we should consider a different approach.

Sound fiscal management isn’t rocket science but it does require a purposeful approach. In a nutshell here is God’s plan to win with money -

1. Measure - You have to know what’s coming in, what’s going out and where from/to. Every dollar needs to be accounted for.

“Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds; for riches do not endure forever, and a crown is not secure for all generations.” - Proverbs 27:23 NIV

2. Manage - You need to give every dollar an assignment. Instead of asking ‘where your money went?’ it’s time to tell it ‘where to go’. This is where the tide turns. This is where you take control of your financial future and make a change that makes a change. If you don’t want to be like everyone else then you can’t do like everyone else. You must choose to go against the grain, live beneath your means and free yourself from the bondage of debt.

“The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.” - Proverbs 22:7 NIV

3. Multiply - You’ve worked hard for your money. Now it’s time for it to work just as hard for you. There are a number of different ways to invest (business, stocks, real estate, etc.) but the first investment you should make is in educating yourself. This is not about making a quick buck but about systematic sowing and reaping.

“Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.” - 2 Corinthians 9:10-11 NIV

The reason most people struggle with money is not an issue of education or even economics, the real issue is Lordship. See money has a way of getting its hooks in our hearts like few other things.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” - Matthew 6:19-24 NIV

The best advice I can give you in keeping a right relationship with money is to actively cultivate your own generosity.

“One person gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.” - Proverbs 11:24-25 NIV

Making your money count for more than just yourself is a great investment and pays dividends in both this life and the next. After all, ‘what comes around goes around’.

The Anatomy of an Apology

Last time I checked there has only ever been exactly one single solitary individual to walk the face of this earth without sinning. I promise it isn't me and I'm fairly certain it's not you either. We drop the ball, we miss the mark, we make mistakes. Face it, we sin. It's part of living in a fallen world. But that isn't an excuse and doesn't absolve us of the responsibility of our actions and/or inactions. We should own up, fess up when we mess up, and apologize. It's interesting how most people mentally agree that everyone fails but the same people who claim to 'not be perfect' act as though they are. They make excuses, rationalize why the behavior of others or the situation justifies them and flat refuse to admit their guilt. It's' crazy.

"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." - Romans 12:17-21

I think as Christians we ought to be the first to step up, humble ourselves, accept responsibility and ask for forgiveness. When we have come up short so to speak, unintentionally or otherwise, this is how we should respond -

1. Recognize that you have wronged, offended and/or hurt someone else. That's all that matters at this point. This is where being sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit is vital. Guilt is good because it leads us back to God, shame is bad because it causes us to withdraw and hide.
2. Repent before God. The sooner the better! Many view repentance only in terms of our initial salvation experience. I believe it should be a hallmark of our lives as believers. God says IF we will confess our sins He WILL forgive them.
3. Pray for peace. In impossible situations God can do amazing things. He can soften the hardest heart and open the door for difficult discussions.
4. Ask for forgiveness. It may be semantics but I rarely if ever say 'I'm sorry'. If you look at the true meaning of the word you are literally saying 'I am a worthless' and regardless of how bad I've screwed up I'm not worthless. My recommendation is that you say, "I apologize for ???, will you forgive me?" One is a statement and the other a question. It requires a response and empowers the other person in the situation. If you don't think it matters just see which one is harder to say.
5. Make amends if possible. If our heart is truly grieved for hurting someone else it is appropriate and right for us to fix what we can. As for what we can't... thank God for grace! For instance - 'I accidentally ran over your mailbox repeatedly. Will you forgive me? Can I replace it for you?'

I think it's safe to say that forgiveness is a BIG DEAL with God so it should be a big deal to us as well. If God cares about something we should too.

 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." - Matthew 5:23-24